"Before I open the fridge - I really need to ask you: are there body parts again in it?"
"Nope."
"Animal parts? Noth-oh. That's a... very nice fake there."
"A very nice what?"
"That painting. On your desk?"
"No. No... I mean. It's an original. The previous owner died for it."
"Well I won't argue with you, of course he did. But that was fifty years ago and it was the author himself. What? Come on! That bloody thing hangs in the National Gallery!"
"Does it?"
"For fuck's sakes. That you solved the Vermeer case doesn't mean you are an art specialist now, are you?"
"Tell me more."
"Apart from your cultural ignorance-oh. Well. First... I can't believe you didn't noticed.
I can smell the turpentine even from here."
"See. I told you it wasn't the homeless guy."
"Second - this masterpiece should be over fifty five years old - the paint should be dry and smooth. Not cold, dank and sticky. And there are some other details."
"Carry on. It's shocking how brilliant you can be."
"The handwriting is well copied, I suppose it was an old, skilled plagiator OR he tried it several times before he did the final piece. But he was in hurry. Could happen that the buyer changed his mind and he had to finish it sooner as he thought, perhaps."
"I don't follow. How can you say?"
"Majority of the painting was done for months - the paint had its time to dry (oil painting has to dry approximately for three weeks). But then here - the right corner. It's a bit blurry, though. That means that it was finished quick and the paint was yet wet when he did the varnishing. He wiped the paint out. And the well finished piece tells me he had sense for detail. BUT, again - the signature is completely wrong. When you put the canvas into the frame it will take about an inch off the original format size. The original painting has its signature hidden from an half beneath the frame. If you would put this one in it, it could be seen whole. And it's a little bit higher as well."
"No doubt you're very sure about yourself."
"Dear Sherlock, I walk by this thing every day - several times. It's my job to know."
"I certainly have to believe you then. Now! - organise the foodstuffs, would you?"
Nepopieram, som patrične hrdá. Nehnevajte sa však na mňa, drahí moji. V slovenčine totiž tieto dialógy nevyzneli patrične arogantne a ja sa potrebujem cvičiť na v poradí tretí test z všemohúcej a trocha ťažkopádnej angličtiny. Lásku a mačiatka.
Na druhú stranu, baví ma to. V hlave sa mi sformovalo šialenstvo, možno vás raz zabaví aj v rozšírenejšej ako dialógovej forme. Teraz už ale bolo dosť hlúpostí, treba sa sústrediť na dôležitejšie veci. Akoby som... skutočne poslúchala svoje svedomie. Nikdy.


Nemá to byť "sociopath"? *záhlavie* :-)